Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Hopeless Homeowner Series: Solve the Mystery, What Does This Do?

At times like this, I wish I knew a detective who moonlighted as an electrician.  Can you help me solve this mystery?

Our house - built in the mid-1950's and owned at first by an electrical engineer - is full of quirks and surprises.  Many of these are located in our (currently unfinished) basement, which is the nerve center of the house.  It holds the washer, dryer, boiler (we have hot water baseboard heat) and hot water heater, in addition to pipes leading out the back of the house for reasons I don't understand (the house used to have an in-ground pool, and now has a water feature out back that we've never plugged in or used), and a creepy closet that we are hoping to completely gut at some point over the next few months.

While making some measurements in the basement closet (which, did I mention, is a very creepy place) earlier tonight, I noticed a strange combination of devices.  First, there was a secret outlet atop the cinderblock wall of the basement.  Our house is a split, the cinder blocks begin at roughly ground level, and the wall faces the front of the house.  The outlet seemed relatively new (or at least had been updated) as it was of the grounded three-prong variety.  Next to it is some kind of metal box with very thin wires sticking out (I think this might have been a previous doorbell wiring set up, judging by the gauge of the wires, but I am not sure).

Beneath the outlet, not plugged in but dangling from the wall, is a very new timer (set to begin at 6 pm and end at about 11 pm - I checked). 



The plug attached to the timer, however, seems to be from the 1950's.  The wire travels about three feet down the wall and then disappears into a hole leading out, presumably underneath the front yard.

 

As I write this, it's becoming clear to me that this is an old set up for some outside lighting.  Or, I could be wrong.  Maybe this is an invitation to put up a ridiculous number of Christmas lights.  But how would I find where the wire ends up outside, presuming that it does end up outside?  Would I have to dig?  How many silverfish would I see throughout the process?  (This is why I would make a terrible Bob Vila/detective hybrid; I'm terrified of silverfish.)

So, if anyone reads this who is inclined to think critically about such mysteries, what do you think, and how can I test your theory? 


Monday, November 19, 2012

Rutgers to the Big Ten

Cincinnati at Rutgers, September 2009.  My first game as a season ticket holder, and the only time I ever saw the stadium this full in three-plus seasons.
Earlier today, I posted on Facebook that Rutgers moving to the Big Ten (hereinafter referred to as "the B1G") is like Christmas in November. 

As a season ticket holder for the past four seasons, and as someone whose tenure as a Rutgers undergraduate (2002-06) aligned perfectly with the end of the "Rutgers as national laughingstock" era (a 1-11 campaign during my freshman year) and the beginning of "wait, they've got something brewing here and there's potential for the future" era (a 7-5 season and a bowl berth during my senior year), I never really expected a major conference to come calling.  It all depended on our football program (football is often the only revenue-positive sport for a college athletics program), and our football program seemed to be cursed with terrible timing: horrible when the Big East was worth purging, improving when nobody was expanding, and disappointing and failing to meet expectations when the Big East was worth purging again.

I am still a little unsure why the B1G chose us, and if someone could pinch me, I'd really appreciate it.  That said, their decision seemed to have been influenced by some combination of the following:
  • Location, location, location: the B1G felt that Rutgers had a good chance of bringing the NYC market, which is something they coveted in an ever expanding college sports landscape.  There's lots of stuff on the Internet today about how NYC doesn't really care about college sports (or, at least, they don't care about college football) - this is true for the most part, but it's worth noting that neither Rutgers nor Syracuse (the only two football teams that could potentially carry NYC) have been a part of the national college football conversion for over a dozen years.  So it's hard to pull the two factors apart.  The Empire State Building did turn scarlet and white in the fall of 2006, though, so I'm pretty sure that the market potential is there; it's more a question of whether Rutgers (football or basketball) can hit that level of promise and performance again.
  • Related to the first point is cable revenue: plenty of people in the NYC market have cable, and very few of us use a cable provider which carries the B1G network.  This will change once Rutgers joins the conference (and will change similarly for those in the MD/DC area), leading to a notable increase in cable revenue for the conference.  I've also heard that the B1G network could potentially simulcast Rutgers games on the YES network, due to a recent partial buyout of the network - formerly owned by the Yankees themselves - to FOX (which also owns some portion of the B1G network).
  • Finally there is academics.  Unlike the SEC and Big 12, which don't give a hoot about whether their football programs graduate more than the bare minimum percentage of players allowed by NCAA statute, the B1G (and also the ACC) take some steps to ensure their membership only includes academically strong institutions which try to recruit and graduate intelligent athletes.  Additionally, in the case of the B1G, a university's research ability plays a huge role.  Rutgers is a massive research institution and will only get bigger with today's confirmed UMDNJ merger, so that made us even more attractive to the B1G.
There are no bullet points above for performance or stadium attendance, which is good, because Rutgers has been disappointing its football fans with a let down game every season of the last six (costing us a legitimate chance at a BCS bowl bid in 2006 and 2011), and rarely selling out High Point Solutions Stadium (though this may change once we stop hosting Temple and UConn and start hosting Penn State, Ohio State, and perhaps Michigan on a regular basis).  Had these been factors, it is hard to imagine that the B1G would have ever chosen Rutgers.

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While the Rutgers program did collectively step in a bit of shit, getting so lucky as to be hand-picked by the conference with the highest per-school revenue disbursement in the nation, Rutgers fans should take a second to consider how the program will fare in a more competitive football conference.

Currently, Rutgers is ranked #18 in the BCS standings - higher than every B1G school except Nebraska (currently ranked #14), and one spot ahead of Michigan at #19.  (Ohio State and Penn State are not allowed in the BCS standings due to NCAA sanctions, but if they were allowed in the rankings, Ohio State would be ranked well into the Top 10 and Penn State might be close to a ranking, as well.) 

This season's Rutgers football team has an exceptional, grown man defense/special teams and a run-first offense which struggles mightily at throwing the ball.  In other words, they are just like every other team in the middle of the pack of the B1G right now.  The bottom of the B1G is fairly awful, with Iowa, Indiana, and Illinois each holding four or fewer wins.  This specific Rutgers team, 9-1 in the Big East, could easily be 7-4 or 8-3 in the B1G this season. 

Because of our program's history and because we are from New Jersey, Rutgers fans will hear a great deal of hate from haters who have to hate on the Internet in the weeks and months ahead, but assuming the football team continues to recruit strongly and maintains a physical presence on defense, it's likely that the team will play representatively well within the conference once they formally join it in 2014.  I doubt they'll ever represent the B1G in a BCS game, but a good season for the Scarlet Knights could leave us in the top three or four of the conference.

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Lots of people far more qualified than I will be speculating on the next steps in college conference expansion.  With the trend ever stronger toward five mega-conferences (Pac-12, Big 12, SEC, ACC, B1G), each conference could have up to 16 football teams by the time the BCS playoff system begins in 2014.  But to conclude my post, here's my completely wacky idea, which will never happen - except that I think it might make sense in some obvious ways:

If the B1G is worried about competition from the ACC to the point that they stole a desperate Maryland program just to corner the Washington, DC cable market, why not make the "evil genius" move right away and expand to 16 teams by recruiting Syracuse and Pittsburgh away from the ACC?

Here's what the B1G would gain:
  • In addition to crippling the Big East (once UConn goes to the ACC, the Big East as a football conference will essentially crumble), the ACC would be significantly dented by the loss of two future programs.  This wouldn't be a death blow like that experienced by the Big East, but the ACC would still be left with a fairly geographically fractured football landscape.  They'd keep a few good football teams (Va Tech, FSU, Clemson), but mostly be left with bad ones, putting them in a "Big East 2005-2011" situation that would likely not be sustainable in the long run
  • Unquestioned viewership dominance in the NYC football market and possession of the two most important football programs in Pennsylvania, and all of its ancillary benefits (increased revenue for the conference, more money in schools' pockets across the board, etc.)
  • An additional rivalry game in football each season (Syracuse/Rutgers and Penn State/Pittsburgh)
  • Natural 8 team, 2 division layout (Illinois and Purdue could move to the ridiculously named "Legends" Western division)
From the schools' perspectives, Syracuse and Pittsburgh would get more money than they'd ever get in the ACC.  Of course, both schools may have elected a move to the ACC because they wanted to focus primarily on basketball (the ACC has Duke and will soon have UConn, so it will be a much better basketball vs. football program over the next decade), but I don't see how that makes sense financially since football brings in more money than basketball.

More likely, both Syracuse and Pittsburgh made a pact to bolt from the Big East at the same time because they saw that the end of the conference was near, which was an accurate judgment.  But it now looks like their decision was a bit rash, and Rutgers' patience (or, possibly, their lack of desirability to the ACC) might have made them much more money over the next 15-20 years than they ever could have made in the ACC. 

Could Syracuse or Pittsburgh have said no to the ACC?  Perhaps not (in poker we would call that a "hero fold"), but had they done so, we could easily be talking today about one/both of these schools, not Rutgers, raking in $25M+ per year in annual profit sharing from the B1G.  Of course, this would be moot if the B1G decided to poach these schools from the ACC (which I sort of hope happens, even though it won't).


Sunday, November 4, 2012

Wrestling with Sandy

I am happy (and incredibly lucky) to report that - at least for the moment - our lives have pretty much already recovered from the devastation of Hurricane Sandy.  Our house lost power for 142 hours (just under six days), but we seem to have had our power restored around 7 pm tonight (Sunday evening).  The house, which dipped down to a frightening 52 degrees during the last night we were willing to spend there after the storm, is currently warming up into the low 70's.  In the storm, we lost several large branches from the trees outside our house, but none of them landed on the house (most landed just off to the side).  Our neighbor across the street did lose a huge tree, which landed across our street and in our neighbor's driveway, ripping a power wire in the process.  Any of these factors could have gone in a different (and more damaging direction).

Below is the power line, which landed on the sidewalk outside our house.


The experience of riding out the storm itself was... well, incredibly frightening.  It was perhaps the most scared I've ever been of anything in my life.  The wind was already howling early on Monday morning, and only became worse throughout the day.  This was just a manageable tease, however (I was even able to nap on the couch for a bit between 7 and 7:30 pm).  Starting at around 8 pm, as the storm made landfall in southern New Jersey, the winds shifted to the east and havoc was wrought.  The front of our house faces east, and we do not own a storm door.  Our front door has a single locking mechanism, and with each, more ferocious gust, the door began to curve inward.  Looking down from the upstairs (where the below picture was taken), I could actually see outside through the door when the gusts were at their worst.

I suspected that if the door busted inward, we'd experience the type of damage that would ruin our home (if not permanently, certainly for a long time).  So I improvised a fix, buttressing the door with all of the heavy boxes I could find in our garage at the bottom, and bracing the top with two extendable paint roller extension poles that I used for a previous project.  Under pretty stressful conditions, this may have been the home improvement hack of my life, because the bracing worked as I planned and the door survived the night.


At its worst, the storm felt like I was at cruising altitude on a plane to hell.  My sinuses were cracked and dry, my head kept popping, and the insides of my teeth (at least the ones with fillings) hurt.  I called my father, who had made it through a terrible storm called Hurricane Dora which directly hit Jacksonville, Florida in 1960, to ask him about this feeling.  He claimed this was normal, a result of the incredibly low barometric pressure which accompanies hurricanes.  During Dora, he said, it felt like the hairs on the insides of his lungs were tearing.  That was a Category 2 storm, at landfall.

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Tuesday was even worse than Monday night.  Walking outside and surveying the damage, the only sound we could hear was a far off siren.  No one, it seemed, had power, and we resolved to live off the perishables we had purchased before the storm as well as the lanterns and other gear we had purchased after Hurricane Irene.  The tree that landed in my neighbor's lawn, which would eventually be cut into cord wood, was the talk of each neighbor that passed by (in a disaster, everyone talks to their neighbors).  We wondered aloud how long power would be out - we were the last customers in our utility's service area to be restored after Irene, waiting almost three days to get our power back.  With deadly accuracy this time around, we guessed about a week.

We did somehow make it out of the house on Tuesday to get dinner, and Wednesday I worked for a while from my office (my company had its power restored ridiculously early, perhaps by virtue of being in the same shopping center as a grocery store).  I snapped this picture while stopped in traffic in Flemington, NJ on Wednesday, while driving home from work.  The line stretched as far as my eye could see, and these were the hackers trying to get a shortcut with their red gas cans - the line of cars on the highway stretched for miles.  This was the beginning of the current fuel panic.


Through the generous hospitality of others, we were never forced to spend a night at home.  We stayed with friends on Wednesday night, and family on Friday and Saturday night.  At each stop, we carried the dog in and dealt with her messing a strange house (she gets nervous when things change, and everything was in constant flux this past week).  We were exhausted after five days of shuffling back and forth from house to house, and - honestly - the only things that kept me going were the knowledge that we'd get our power back eventually, and when we did, we'd actually have our house back (unlike some, less fortunate, people). 

I routinely followed PSE&G's Twitter feed, checking for updates even though in the aftermath of such a disaster, misinformation always seems to rule.  At one point, PSE&G's total number of customers without service increased by about 50,000 over a twelve hour span (which struck me as nonsense). 

Even though I selfishly wanted my own power back, the stories I was reading about the conditions down the Jersey Shore were scary.  My mom, who still lives in Middletown, was fine for the most part - her basement flooded a bit and they lost power until Thursday, but she made it through with the help of a neighbor's generator.  More low laying parts of Middletown and the Shore in general, I read, were completely decimated.  It hit me like a ton of bricks when I read a list of areas and locations that were completely wiped out by the storm on the Asbury Park Press' mobile site.  When I realized that literally every place I went with girls while in high school to hang out by ourselves (and, sometimes, make out) no longer existed, the gravity of the disaster took full effect.

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One of my favorite all-time books is Jon Krakauer's Into Thin Air, the bestselling firsthand account of the 1996 Mount Everest disaster.  I've been meaning to re-read this book for a while, so forgive me if my memories are fuzzy.  But one part of the story that I consider especially germane right now is toward the end, when Krakauer returns home to the United States and begins to re-acclimate himself to the creature comforts of home.  He recalls getting up to use the bathroom at night barefoot, and climbing back into bed alongside his wife.  These were things he once took for granted, and now almost moved him to tears because of the practically inhuman conditions he endured atop the world's tallest mountain.

Being back at home, typing on my desktop PC and drinking a homemade beer in my warm and bright house, I maybe understand 10% of this feeling - tops.  But there are literally tens of thousands of people down the Shore who will not know what "home" is for a long time, and - in deference and in respect to my childhood,  my memories, and my past down there - I've never felt more personally motivated to help make something right in my life.  All that I can do with my meager hands and my sometimes-even-worse-than-meager checkbook, I will do.

I am sorry if this is mean, but I could care less about the millionaires who lost their vacation homes.  They are very likely to be insured, and independent of this, they are sufficiently well liquidated to handle the repair costs no matter what.  The extraordinarily wealthy Long Beach Island - where my friends and I have happily gone on vacation each summer since 2006 - will be back in roaring fashion by summer 2013, I have no doubt; money makes the inevitable happen faster.

But scrappy, working class places like Keansburg and Keyport, Union Beach and Highlands will need our help.  These places were struggling before the storm, and the people who live there often necessarily lack the resources to manage such a complex and difficult situation.  More importantly, they need their homes rebuilt.

I don't know how to build houses.  I can barely fix my own (as anyone who's read this blog over the past year and a half should know).  But I see this disaster as an opportunity to help other people and help myself learn how to do this kind of work at the same time.  I think I would like to help rebuild these areas.

If you're reading this and you can give me any information on how I can get started, please leave it in the comments section or reach out to me privately.  I also plan to spend some time this week researching groups, such as Habitat for Humanity, online. 

But above all I hope that tonight you are warm and comfortable in your bed, and perhaps (like me) a bit more aware of the creature comforts you previously had taken for granted.