The One-Track Sense of Humor

Greetings from the coffee table in my living room in Watertown, MA. It's been 9 days since the semester started, and already I've crunched 2 data sets, attended 2 classes, bought 2 high-def TV's (one was too small, and was returned), and had 2 too many heart-to-heart discussions that leave me wondering who I am and what I get wrong all the time. But that's not the point of this blog post, so let's move on.

Today was "Welcome-Back Reception" day in the Psychology department. This year's reception was nicer than last year's. The food was better (it was catered!), there was sparkling water and cheesecake, and every graduate student received a free poster case for all the conferences we're supposed to attend. (BTW, one of the things I really miss about having a real job is all the free stuff. Seriously, my girlfriend averages $100 per week in freebies at her job, and that's on top of an actual, you know, salary. But I digress.)

Later in the meeting, we all went around the meeting room and introduced ourselves to the entire department. Now, most of things I have to do in my daily life (e.g., shower, brush my teeth, drink anything except coffee and beer, not smoke cigarettes) are a giant pain in the ass. But you know what's a GIANT pain in the ass? Standing up in front of 60 people, clearing your throat, introducing yourself and explaining your research interests... every week.

A lot of things have gotten easier for me since I moved up here, 13 months ago. It's easier for me to handle being apart from my family and friends, et al. It's easier for me to tolerate the cold. But it's never gotten any easier for me to speak in public. I speed through talks at a breakneck speed, and I stammer when I have to say even the most rudimentary thing in front of a strange group. It's something I have to work on, and it reminds me -- as grad school does so well -- that I have a lot to learn.

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But, that's not the point of this blog post, either. My point is that, if you were to attend this reception, you'd think you were watching the late George Carlin or some other brilliant stand-up comic. Literally every other thing that people said led to uproarious laughter, even though very few of the things people were saying were actually funny. And this brings me to my point: I'm starting to get sick and tired with how funny people think awkwardness is.

Of course, I blame TV for our infatuation with uncomfortable comedy. Specifically, I blame "The Office", the award-winning TV sitcom that epitomizes the phenomenon by making it so accessible that tens of millions of people think they can pull it off (but they can't). "The Office" is a very good show. It employs a staff of brilliant writers to create its episodes; one of the head writers is a Harvard grad who also moonlights as the chief blogger of Fire Joe Morgan, which was one of my favorite baseball blogs before the humor became too annoying for me to read it anymore.

On the surface, it makes sense that awkward humor is successful humor. It doesn't offend anyone per se, because it's harmless to the people who don't get it. It's sufficiently post-modern and meta, because the people who do get it can roll around in laughter and self-importance. (It just now dawned on me that nearly everyone who loves "The Office" is white -- this makes sense, because white people love thinking about the things they know that other people don't.)

My main problem with awkward humor is that it doesn't take risks -- in not being directly offensive, vulgar, or disgusting, it's so safe and predictable that it actually becomes not-quite-funny. In the game of humor craps, awkward humor is the "Pass" line.

Now, I realize that network TV and academic meetings are both constrained by the laws of common decency -- if someone were to try to do justice to the "Aristocrats" joke, for instance, in either situation, they'd be immediately fired. I also admit to liking shows like "The Office," where the awkward humor is particularly well done. But most people need to realize that (a) they're not funny, and (b) half the people who laugh at the stupid things they say are just trying to be polite. I don't even try to be polite -- I'll sit there stone-faced if I don't think something's funny. You have to earn my laughter, goddamnit.

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Some of us on the Damaged, Inc. team went camping in the Adirondacks last month. We ate cheeseburgers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; we drank Labatt Blue and then went boating; and we smoked delicious cigars. We decided we'd chip in together and buy a house up there one day. (NOTE: Dudes, it's totally possible. I did a Google search for "Adirondacks real estate", and we can buy a really nice log cabin for about $100,000. We only need 10 percent for a down payment. Let's make this happen.) But because we "camped" in high style, we had cable TV and spent one 45-degree August night inside watching the Bob Saget roast on Comedy Central.

Gilbert Gottfried -- who, by the way, does a fantastic "Aristocrats" joke (N-even close to being-SFW) -- had a excellent and elegant joke, which simply consisted of him making references to Bob Saget not raping and murdering a teenager in 1990. Part of it was the delivery, part of it was that Gilbert Gottfried is just plain ridiculous. But essentially, it was good humor. Like having a taste for good Scotch, good cigars, or good women, it's an acquired taste, and you pretty much have to have the taste in order to understand it.

In short, most people do not have good taste, and are therefore losers who suck at life. (*NOTE: Yes, I am arguing that people who laugh at (good) jokes about raping and murdering teenagers have good taste. I am absolutely, 100% convinced this is the case. People who don't laugh at any good joke - regardless of content - need to get the stick out of their ass.) If these losers were more like the people who blog here, the world would be a much better place. Stay classy.