2. I have one piece of Boston Red Sox memorabilia in my apartment, even though I hate the Boston Red Sox. It's a 1950's-era Ted Williams soda advertisement, and I refuse to take it down because (a) I don't disrespect the dead, and (b) I especially don't disrespect the dead when you're talking about the greatest left-handed hitter who ever lived.
3. I love frozen Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I eat an average of one "Big Bag" a week, and somehow have not yet acquired diabetes.
4. I've had jobs that I love. I've had jobs where I've been well-paid. I'm still waiting for the first job of my life that accomplishes both these things.
5. I have the lowest LDL cholesterol my doctor has ever seen, even though I eat lots of steak (and Reese's).
6. I check my E-mail at least 10 times a day during the workweek, and 5 times a day during the weekends. E-mail is my crack.
7. Speaking of addictions, although I quit smoking cigarettes 3+ years ago, I still smoke one cigar a month. I smoked last month's cigar in my Honda Civic, and will never smoke in there again because the car smelled like an ashtray for a week afterward.
8. Speaking of addictions, I really like to gamble, but I don't think it's an addiction yet. I'm counting on my friends to tell me when/if I cross that threshold...
9. In high school, I was known as the "Dark Cavern". This is because certain parts of my body were (and remain) unnecessarily hairy. I bring this up when I see people I went to high school with, both as a pseudo-party trick and also to show that I've gotten over it (even though it bothered me at the time).
10. I am a male feminist, which is a function of my extreme laziness (not some sense of social justice). I want women to be equal to men in responsibility because, as a result, I will have to do less work. This gives me more time on the couch, watching TV, which is a good thing.
11. My perfect day involves breakfast, a good long run, lunch, a nap on the couch, steak dinner, a bottle of wine, and quality time with my girlfriend.
12. Out of all the things a graduate student in psychology does, I enjoy advanced data analysis the most. This convinces me that I'll probably make decent money some day.
13. I get angry approximately 20-25 times a day, but mostly about little things.
14. I talk to myself - only when I'm alone - and the most frequent thing I say to myself is, "You're retarded."
15. I actually am retarded, at least when it comes to physical coordination. I can barely move on skis/skates/ice/hard-packed snow.
16. I'm additionally a bit of an asshole, as partially evidenced by my lackadaisical use of terms such as "retarded." But I'm a fair asshole. People know where they stand with me.
17. I may be unable to fill a large lecture hall with my acquaintances, but I have an amazing group of friends. My friends mean everything to me. They keep me in my place, and help me up when I'm down. My friends are the people I can be 100% honest with, in a world that keeps me from telling the complete truth sometimes.
18. People's tastes in music tell me a lot about them. I have an aunt who claims not to trust people who don't like dogs. I don't trust anyone who doesn't like Stone Temple Pilots.
19. Although I despise romantic comedies as a genre, one of my favorite movies is "Wedding Crashers." This is true even though "Wedding Crashers" is a diagrammatic romantic comedy. The moral of this story is, concepts can be blended. If done appropriately, you can convince the world that the same old pile of shit is something new and innovative. This is true for movies, and for legislature.
20. I'm going to turn 26 this year. I look like I'm about 26, which is fair. Physically, I feel like I'm 18. After a long day's work, however, I feel both older and wiser than I am. This may actually be a good thing.
21. I think the reason why "The Wire" is the best piece of drama ever created is that it convinces us that everything which is bad is good, and vice versa. Just like in science, a perfectly creative mind matched with the perfect situation can completely change the way questions are asked. This is known as a paradigm shift, and David Simon shifted the entire paradigm for drama when he created "The Wire." The show confirms every lingering suspicion I ever had about law enforcement, drugs, crime, politics, education, and - quite literally - life. All of this in one show, which may be a little complex but I swear you're smart enough to get it. So, please - PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE - watch "The Wire." For me. Okay?
22. I am ambivalent toward drugs. On one hand, I am convinced that the dangers of most "illicit" drugs (e.g., marijuana) are completely overblown. In fact, I am convinced that marijuana is absolutely harmless. On the other hand, I am evangelical about reality. I love reality, and I feel like reality is something everyone should embrace. Further, I feel that "illicit" drugs bend reality and make people sort of... I don't know, weird. They make me question, what is it about not-high life that is so bad to necessitate being high all the time? I mean, why not smoke crack instead? Some of my best friends smoke weed all the time, and more power to them. But still... come on, weirdos.
23. Item #22 (above) may be influenced by the fact that I have not smoked marijuana in over three years. The last time I smoked, I was invited into a "Devil's Threeway" (which I politely declined).
24. I complain... a lot. But that's just my personality. Most of the time, I'm very aware of how lucky I am to have my life. I mean, I could be way stupider than I currently am.
25. I actually am approachable. I'm just kinda like Dikembe Mutombo; you need to bring your A-game when you approach me.
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