Airport bars. I suffer from moderately crippling social anxiety. Under most circumstances, I would never be caught dead having a drink by myself at a regular, run-of-the-mill bar. However, airport bars do not apply, because the social norms that apply to the real world don't apply once you've taken your shoes off at a security checkpoint. As an example, everyone at airport bars strike me as unnecessarily friendly (especially when said airport is somewhere in the South). I'm never sure if it's the airport context that makes people friendly, or if only people who are friendly go to airport bars. Regardless, because of this, I end up having surprisingly enjoyable conversations with people whom I'd never otherwise talk to. At a recent stopover in Balt'more, I was educated by a friendly bartender as to the various historical spellings of "Yuengling." This was something I'd never known, and found extremely important. Plus, the buffalo chicken wraps* at airport bars are typically above average. (*NOTE: "buffalo chicken wrap" to appear on a later "Things That Are Awesome" list.)
The fourth and fifth minutes of Radiohead's "Paranoid Android". I am never asked my opinion on the most beautiful moment in alternative rock. This is because I have zero credibility about anything, particularly the things that I think I know a lot about. I've given this particular question years of thought, particularly those times late at night when I can't sleep and end up listening to my iPod. Right before I eventually fall asleep, I end up gravitating toward "Paranoid Android", and I think it's because it contains the most beautiful musical moment in all of alternative rock. This moment lasts approximately two minutes.
The first half of the song is unspectacular if above-average Radiohead, although it's a harder sort of rock than most Radiohead songs. At around 3:30, however, the entire tonality of the song changes. The music changes from driving, harmonic rock to a near Gregorian chant. Thom Yorke's voice changes from man to scepter, and all of a sudden the listener feels everything in the world raining down on them, from a great height. It's a wailing coda, it's darkly beautiful, and it's what I think every piece of emo-rock written over the past decade aspired to but could not be. (*NOTE: In general, I'm not really a Radiohead fan. I can't really converse about Radiohead, the way I could converse about Metallica or Toad the Wet Sprocket. I have five Radiohead songs on my iPod. But, that doesn't keep what I wrote above from being what I believe.)
Skiing. I went skiing for the first time in my life last week. I think it's the most unique sort of physical activity, because it completely shifts one's seasonal- and movement-related paradigms. I don't really like snow. I think it's nice enough the first couple of times it happens in a given winter, but after that it's just an annoyance. I'd just as soon move someplace like North Carolina, where (I think) it only snows a few times a year, than have to deal with snow all the time. All of this is true, except for when I went skiing, at which point I considered snowfall to be the most amazing meteorological phenomenon possible.
It's not that I was a good skiier; I barely got off the bunny slope. But I was amazed at how fast I could move - it was like the bottoms of my feet were slathered in warm butter and I was sent down a hill with my center of balance shifted to about three feet behind my ass. I am unsure how anyone who skis regularly avoids serious spinal cord disfiguration as a function of the awkwardness of skiing. However, I'd gladly do it again.
Obscure "Simpsons" references from 1996 on this blog space. If you don't know what I'm talking about, see the photo from Scottery's post below (re: balls), and the comments section for the post. "Citizen Kang" is, in my opinion, the best Treehouse of Horror short of all time, and I'm thrilled that in this new era of change and hope, we can take the time to reflect on things that made us laugh about Presidents past. Remember, a vote for a third-party candidate is a vote thrown away... Buffalo chicken wraps. Oh, fuck it, let's talk about it here. I've been on a HUGE Buffalo chicken wrap kick lately - I've had like five of them in the past three weeks, and I'll probably have another one within the next couple of days. It's practically the perfect sandwich. It has tortilla, fried chicken, hot sauce, bleu cheese dressing, lettuce, and tomato. Is there a food group that this sandwich cannot represent??!
(*NOTE: On a somewhat unrelated topic, I had the worst Reuben sandwich of my life yesterday, and it cost me $7 that I'll never get back. The place where I go to graduate school generally has good [if somewhat overpriced] cafeteria food, but I've never had the Reuben before. I was the only person in the panini line, and I saw three candidate Reuben sandwiches in front of me. Two were voluptuous - piled high with delicious corned beef, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing. The third was puny, with maybe two slices of corned beef. After asking for a Reuben, I stared pointedly as the dumb bitch behind the counter silently put the puny Reuben on the panini press. She kept it there for all of 28 seconds, after which she silently [I think she might have been mute, as well as fucking stupid] added potato chips and a sloppy pickle. By the time I got back to my office, the Reuben was ice-cold. I could only finish half the sandwich, before throwing it out. I thought about taking the rest of my ice-cold sandwich back to the dining hall and throwing it back in the sandwich maker's face. I decided against it, of course.
I suppose the quesiton here is, at what point is it necessary to call the Dining services office and complain? If it were a Buffalo chicken wrap, I would have complained already. No question. That's how much I adore the Buffalo chicken wrap. It's fucking sacred.)
****************
Stay classy out there.
2 comments:
I can attest that the fun of skiing is largely dependent on what relative skill level your co-skiers are.
On the "Most Fun" side: you go with a lot of friends who are about as skilled as you, so you can either suffer through the falling and the awkward poses together, or you can shred the icy Mountain TripleDiamond together.
On the "Least Fun" side: You go with people who you don't really know very well (see: work-related or ski-shop-sponsored trip) who are all way better than you are, so you are left on the Bunny Slope with the children and old ladies while they go out-ski an avalanche (or whatever skilled skiers do). Also on this side: Going skiing alone, which is largely the same.
I guess the second one is more like a solo spirit journey of pain, while the first is actually quite fun. The only problem is it's similar to hunting or sailing in that if you want to do it regularly you would ideally outlay the cash for skis, snow clothes, season passes, etc and hope that the people you went with will be available to go again, which is rarely the case.
On the name Yuengling, there was a clue on Jeopardy last night (or maybe the night before, I've been home sick so its all one big mess of trivia shows and reruns) there was a clue where Yuengling was the answer. The clue was something like, "It's America's oldest brewery despite the asian-sounding name." and it took me forever to figure it out. It just never struck me as asian-sounding, it always sounded so normal and American, but really it is.
Post a Comment